The Sensation
Wax is interesting in that there can be different ways of using it to create different sensations, or different degrees of sensation, and it just depends on what you want to feel, how you want to feel it, and where you want to feel it.
Molded or tapered candles (the standard way to go) are good for quick, short bursts of sensation similar to a sting or pinch. The way these candles drip, the amount of wax falling at any given time will be so little that it cools (and solidifies) almost instantly on impact. All the intensity of the high temperature gets concentrated into each little drop...which also means that perpetual dripping can be quite the delightful torture device.
Container or "potted" candles can be useful for amassing a larger amount of heated wax that can be poured as little or as much as you want. I have had an entire 3-oz pot of completely melted wax poured on me in a single go, and I have also used pots as I would tapers and let only small drips fall.
The longer the sensation is sustained, the less sting you will feel. Your skin adapts very quickly to the drastic heat of the wax, in addition to the wax instantly dropping in temperature as soon as it hits you. The benefit of pouring a larger quantity of wax in longer streams is the warmth and coverage it provides. A long pour means you can form large puddles or long lines of wax over larger parts of the body, and wherever the wax goes, the heat will go. The heat quickly dulls to warmth, which will be locked in to your skin by the wax itself. It cools enough to semi-solidify to a malleable state as soon as it hits the skin, but will take a while to actually cool to a truly rigid form (how long depends on the type of wax and its melting point). In the meantime, you can enjoy the warmth enveloping you...because it's wonderful.
Selecting wax
The supplies you buy should be dictated by the experience you want to have. I personally am a huge fan of the long pour and getting max coverage. I can go through 8-12 ounces of liquid wax in an average session, which is enough to generously cover a large portion of the body (such as a back, legs, or torso). That is also the equivalent of three small potted candles or three to four large tapers, which can actually cost a shocking amount of money when you consider what you are buying is single use. The estimated cost of this many candles would at minimum be twenty dollars, but could be as high as fifty dollars (oh yes, I’ve seen it). Candles which are marketed as intended for use in BDSM can be particularly pricey…but also tend to come in the most vibrant colors and other fun options, like UV reactive colors. For those who only want to dabble in a little wax play now and then, this is probably the best option.
But the rate at which I go through wax quickly makes buying the fancy candles unsustainable, for me. If you’re a wax whore like me and use it in large amounts on a frequent basis, you might consider buying wax in bulk. I have seen some 10-lb boxes of wax on Amazon set at the same price as some of the small BDSM candle sets I’ve seen on Etsy; the difference in price per pound is staggering.
There are several options to be aware of when buying wax in bulk:
- Quantity: A variety of options are readily available in anywhere from 1-10 pounds of wax per package. Like pretty much everything, the cost per pound goes down with higher-quantity packaging.
- Ingredients: The main types of wax you will see advertised are going to be paraffin-based or soy-based, or a blend of the two. Paraffin comes from crude oil, a fact which makes some people cranky (those people usually choose the often higher-priced soy option). Either will work just fine for wax play purposes. There are other wax options out there, such as beeswax, however they are rare enough and expensive enough for me to reach the conclusion I don’t need to go out of my way to try them. Maybe someday, when I’m rich and bored.
- Wax Format: There will be pellet options, and solid block options; choose what makes sense to you. Pellets are easier to measure precisely, but can make an annoying mess when spilled (an issue the block would not suffer from). Pellets also do not necessarily melt faster than solid pieces broken off a block. I personally like pellets for the ease of measuring…and try really hard to never spill them (again).
- Melting Point: The melting point of the wax you select will dictate a great deal of the details of your wax experience.
- Waxes with low melting points (around 120-125 degrees) tend to stay softer for longer periods of time, which can lead to a greasier kind of feeling and tougher cleanup (you can end up with a goopy kind of substance that is difficult to scrape from your skin when you want to take the wax off). Most waxes out there actually have a fairly low melting point, and some don’t even specify what their melting point is on the package (I avoid those entirely). Most waxes marketed for therapeutic purposes or container candle-making will have a melting point of 130 degrees or lower, which is not ideal for wax play.
- I have found the middle ground to be best, and shoot for wax with a melting point hovering near 145 degrees. This type of wax would typically be used for taper or pillar candles and solidifies much more quickly, so is usually easier to clean up and scrape from skin.
- Some waxes have melting points as high as 160 degrees and are usually labeled specifically as having this high melt point because it’s unusual. I don’t recommend using this kind of wax for play as it will solidify too quickly after removal from heat, and become difficult to pour.
Coloring WAX
Any waxes you buy in bulk will be plain white in appearance; clear when melted. If you want color, you have to dye the wax. I have identified three main types of dye that are touted for use in candle-making, and have discovered through trial and error that only one of them really works well for wax play—mica powder. Mica powder dyes usually come in sets, in all the colors you could possibly dream of, and have a glittery opalescent quality. You can even find UV reactive mica powder if you feel like busting out the blacklight. Dyeing your wax is as easy as dropping some powder in the liquid wax and stirring it in (I use disposable popsicle sticks, very quick and easy). The more powder you use, the richer the color.
Other types of dyes which should be avoided for wax play are liquid dyes and concentrated color chips. Liquid dyes may be fine if you want to work solely with soy wax, but usually do not work with paraffin-based waxes (which is the majority of wax you’ll find out there). Concentrated color chips are really intended for large quantities of wax for multiple candles, and can take a very long time to actually fully integrate into the wax. The longer you wait to pour, the more you risk the wax cooling and solidifying too much to be used.
One important thing to note about using mica powder to add color is that it will drop the temperature of the wax you mix it into by at least ten degrees, but possibly as much as twenty or twenty-five degrees if you use a lot of powder for a richer color. Be sure to heat your wax to a higher temperature than what you want it to be when you pour to compensate for this, and use a thermometer to confirm the temperature of the colored wax just before the pour. See below in the Handling section for more specific information on recommended temperatures.
Melting Wax
There are three main ways you can melt your wax; the method you choose should depend on how you plan to use the wax (quick drips versus pouring) and how much time you have to prepare for the scene.
- Wick and flame: If you are using tapers or potted candles melting your wax is as easy as lighting the wick. Tapers will be available for dripping fairly quickly, but it can take several hours for a potted candle to melt in large enough quantities for good pours.
- Electric wax warmer: Anyone familiar with waxing for hair removal has seen one of these. It’s usually about the size of a toaster with a metal bowl or container in the center, and it can be set to the temperature you want your wax to end up at. This can be a great way to melt your wax if you have some time (at least an hour) to prepare for a wax play session, because it will definitely take some time to melt wax of any quantity and bring it up to the temperature you want. However, once it gets your wax to the desired temp, it will maintain it there indefinitely so you can take your time with it.
- Double boiler: This is the fastest and most efficient method for melting wax, in my opinion. Used in cooking as well to melt things like chocolate, the double boiler method is simple and you can find plenty of videos online to show you how to set it up. In essence, a smaller pot or bowl is placed above a larger pot of boiling water, and the steam generated heats the upper vessel quickly (and melts whatever is in it quickly, too). It will usually take twenty minutes or less to melt enough wax for a session with this method. However, the wax will start to cool as soon as it is removed from the heat. This means you have a limited timeframe to use it in, which can lead to rushing. One way I have mitigated this is by leaving the double boiler assembled and mixing small quantities (3 ounces or less) of the wax at a time, leaving the bowl over a heat source (the heated water) to keep the temperature up as long as possible.
hANDLING WAX
If you are going to melt your own wax and not simply light a candle, it is critical that you have a reliable thermometer to test the temperature of the wax. This is to ensure you heat it to a temperature which will produce the level of intensity you want to feel, but more importantly to ensure you do not inadvertently burn yourself in a way you didn’t intend.
The “right” temperature for your wax to reach entirely depends on you, and the following factors:
- Skin sensitivity: Do you have a high pain tolerance? How has your skin reacted to heat before? Do you have traditionally “sensitive” skin? The more sensitive your skin is to heat or pain, the more you need to be cautious about the temperature of wax you start playing with.
- Sensation goals: How much do you want to hurt? How big of a sting do you want to feel when it hits you? How long do you want the heat to be trapped against your skin? The more you want these things, the hotter the wax will need to be.
- Target area: Should be needless to say, but I will anyway. The more sensitive areas of your body (like under the arms and breasts, the groin, etc.) will not necessarily be able to handle what more hardened areas can. You know your own body; use your best judgement.
While I will list some temperature ranges below which have worked for me, I have to stress that everyone is different and the only way to know what the “right” temperature is for you is to experiment.
- Low heat: For me this is anywhere from 115 to 135 degrees. Wax at this temperature will solidify and become chunky quickly, and (to me at least) feels like a trickle of warm water.
- Medium heat: Anywhere from 135 to 155 degrees. Wax at this temperature pours well (thick without being too liquid-like) and feels like a nice hot beverage. To me the sensation does not feel like a burn; it’s a nice warm cocoa on a cold winter day, not a blazing hot coffee that burned all the tastebuds off my tongue.
- High heat: 160 degrees up to about 185. Once you start going higher, the risk of unbearable or lasting burns to your skin greatly increases, though I have gone up to 200 degrees without significant injury. This is the range of temperature that will make me gasp, and wriggle around, and feel the pinch and sting. This is generally the range I personally want to be in.
Find your own limits, but start low. Most taper and potted candles which are heated by the flame from a wick will produce wax drippings anywhere from 145 to 200 degrees. Because the range is so large, I would recommend heating your own wax and using a thermometer to be very sure of the temperature it is at when you pour it, especially if you have sensitive skin or low heat tolerance.
Tip: use vessels for the heated wax which have spouts or are otherwise designed to pour more cleanly than a regular bowl or cup. I use double-spouted glass espresso cups; you can also use regular kitchen measuring cups made of materials which will withstand high heat.
PREP & CLEANING
Wax gets messy very quickly, and can be very difficult to clean up (especially if it falls on something porous or fibrous like carpet or sheets). The best way to ensure you don’t make a mess you can’t or don’t want to clean up is to prep your space in advance very thoughtfully.
First, you’ll need a drop cloth of some kind that you absolutely do not care about ruining with wax. You will need more coverage than you might think; when wax is in its hot liquid form, it splatters when it hits surfaces, and those splatters can make it several feet away. I personally like using a disposable plastic drop cloth. They come in clear or black (I think you know which I use) and can be found in multiple thicknesses (if you’re feeling extra paranoid, go with the extra thick). Plastic sheeting is also sold in nice big rolls so if (like me) you are a total wax whore, you can buy literally hundreds of feet of it and cut off what you need, when you need it. I have also used old sheets, blankets, etc. Just be sure anything within a few feet of where the pouring will happen is either covered or able to be sacrificed. Be sure to put sheeting anywhere you plan on moving once wax is on you, because everywhere you go, some will fall off.
To clean your vessels (cups, bowls, anything that has wax drying on it which isn’t disposable), I recommend simply boiling water in a large pot and inserting the vessel until all the wax residue has melted and been lifted from the vessel by the water. This allows you to remove the vessel with as little wax residue left on it as possible; anything remaining can be easily scrubbed off. To dispose of the wax which was boiled off, leave the pot to sit overnight. The wax will separate and float on top of the water, and as the water and pot cool the wax will solidify into a disk which can be easily lifted out and thrown in the trash. While technically you can try to reuse this wax, I don’t recommend it for purposes of hygiene and wax quality.